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| Dr. Vithobha Mhalkar holds a session on emotions. |
-Brian Mendonca
'I am Vithobha from Thivim, not from Pandharpur,' joked Dr. Vithobha Mhalkar as he conducted the session on emotional well-being yesterday. Dr. Mhalkar spoke on the power of emotions. Negative emotions can trap us and can lead to wrong decisions. Positive emotions create a ripple effect and make the place happier.
What made the talk interesting were the numerous jokes he cracked and his linguistic code-switching back and forth from English to Konkani (and occasionally Hindi). He is a dynamic speaker using the floor as a performance space. He engaged his audience by throwing questions at them and asking their names. Then he would insert the person in his real-life example so it was easy for the rest of the audience to relate to. He spoke fast. His PPT slides were simple - sometimes just 4/5 lines.
He made the point that one comment one hears in the morning is sometimes enough to ruin your whole day. It is important to manage emotions - to push them aside and focus on the task at hand. Very often performance is impeded by skewed work-life balance. You are focussing on an important project and your partner says s/he wants to end the relationship. Dr. Mhalkar recommends prioritizing the task and then returning to do the damage control.
'If you have achieved something, who will you look to for validation?' he asked. Some said 'management,' others 'peers,' and 'friends.' One voice said 'myself.' 'Clap for her,' said Dr. Mhalkar. 'Your validation must come from yourself. What your boss says, is a bonus.'
Emotional energy is contagious. When you come to your workplace. Say 'Good morning!' to those you pass by. Dr. Mhalkar mimed a person coming to work. He inquired about each and every person he met along the way by asking about their life. 'By the time you sit at your desk you have made four people happy.' he said.
'Emotions are more powerful than words,' he said. Usually the way you actually feel is written all over your face - no matter how you attempt to mask it. 'Coming into this room I saw so many emojis in your faces,' he quipped. He showed a slide of 6 emojis ranging from happy to sad to indifferent. Pointing the highlighter to an emoji which showed an angry face, he said, 'If you are chatting with a person thousands of kilometers away, and s/he sends you this emoji, you know the person is angry.' You do not have to use words.
Emotions triggered in the past leave a trace in the present. When a conversation is going on, a comment may emerge from the hurt caused in the past. It may have no apparent bearing in the present conversation. People do not forget. 'Emotions are not biodegradable.' It is important to understand the way we feel and how we react.
Dr. Mhalkar listed 8 values that people consider important. Five of them are Family; Luxury; Peace; Health; and Friends. He then asked us to rank them in terms of our priorities. Often the way we behave is based on what we value most. It was quite revealing. He asked us to delete the last two making it 6. Again the last 2, making it 4. Again the last 2, making it 2. Then he asked individuals to share their rankings. 'If these are your priorities, what are you doing to preserve them?' he questioned. If you value peace, you can practise meditation; if you value health, you can work at fitness - and avoid samosas, he said for effect.
'You may have 5000 Facebook friends, but only 5 true friends. Value them.' Keep them close to you. When you need, ask them for their opinion. Sometimes true friends are not liked because they tell you the truth on your face. To realise your own potential, do a SWOT analysis. What are my strengths and weaknesses? What are the opportunities and threats?
Dr. Mhalkar ended the talk by sharing a line that can keep us grounded. Remember always that 'This too shall pass.' Every good time or bad time will pass. So live in the now and manage your emotions. Become a better version of yourself.
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Dr. Vithobha Mhalkar, Associate Professor, Instititute of Psychiatry and Human Behaviour (IPHB), Bambolim, Goa speaks at Carmel College, Nuvem, Goa on 28 August 2026. He was invited by the Department of Psychology. Pic by Brian Mendonca. Updated 30/8/26.
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