-Brian Mendonca
Today being the third anniversary of dad's passing we decided to do the things he loved to do. The day began with Mass at 7.30 a.m. Dad's name stood proudly among the intentions for the YouTube Mass offered at the shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Panjim Goa at DON BOSCO TV. The choir also sang 'Soul of my Saviour' which dad used to sing along to. The Mass at St. Andrew's church, Vasco was cancelled due to the COVID situation.
We had also offered a Mass on Sunday (19th) streamed live on YouTube at 9 a..m. at the shrine of Our Lady of Fatima, Panjim. It was the only online site booking Masses during this time. During the day we played dad's favourite hymn, 'Jesus what a wonder you are.' Since it was a Sunday and the time was convenient many people participated in the Mass.
Queenie made lovely idlis for breakfast. For lunch she made samarachi koddi. Dinner was regal with pork chops and brown bread. But not before I made the caju feni the way daddy used to make it, i.e. with hot water, and sugar. To give it flavour I added cloves. The feni tasted different from the way I usually drank it, which is neat. On the contrary, dad's way was superior. The feni held me in its warm embrace. You could almost imagine dad sitting across the table.
As we waited for lunch I had papdi which is a salty snack popular in Gujarat. Dad used to like to have it. Along with that I helped myself to delicious cookies which Queenie had made yesterday. Over lunch and after we spoke about dad's life, his birth, his parents, Parra, and St. Stanislaus school, Bombay where he studied. Dad lost his dad when he was 11. He was brought up by his mother. They lived in Parel, in what was then Bombay.
Dwayne enjoyed the carom and cards I played with him. As I tried out all the shots dad taught me at carom, the sound of the striker carousing across the frame of the board and hitting the coins was music to my ears. We were playing in what used to be dad's room, on his bed. Dwayne won the rummy game. Even though his little hand could not hold all the 13 cards. Three jokers helped.
Since Lockdown is declared in Mormugoa till 24th July we could not go to Vasco, dad's seat, as we usually do. My brother Kevin and family went to dad's grave in Vasco, at the cemetery of St. Andrew's church and made a WhatsApp video call inviting my sister Vanessa in Pune and us in Porvorim. We prayed for dad and also prayed for mum at the family vault in the cemetery.
The reading from Micah 6 recalled the reproaches, 'My people what have I done to you'. I thought of the times when I may not have understood daddy's needs. But the responsorial psalm 50 was apt for daddy, 'I will how God's salvation to the upright.' Mum always said that dad was the epitome of honesty in his dealings, particularly in his working career.
In the third anniversary ad this time we eschewed the customary address to the dead. We avoided the word 'you' which appears that those who are grieving are talking to the photograph. The family opted for general verse which dwelt on how only fond memories remain which will 'take us through the miles.' It was a small effort to move towards acceptance.
We ended with a guitar session of a few of hymns. In the softness of the night our voice trailed heavenward singing 'I surrender all,' 'Lord I am coming home,' and 'Galilee song.' Dwayne made his debut on the guitar singing and playing the first verse of 'How great Thou art' on my Yamaha classical guitar. I pitched in by playing the chorus which can be quite daunting to play and sing.
The special day of remembrance for dad drew to a close with a unique performance of mime and words by Dwayne of cameos of grandpa's life entitled 'Remembering Grandpa.' The first cameo was, 'Ganpa sits in Dwayne's car' depicting ganpa's horror at Dwayne's driving, which had us in splits. The second one was titled, 'Dwayne goes to school.' This episode recalled how Dwayne always used to stop by Ganpa's room to say bye before he left for Regina Mundi school. Ganpa used to tuck his shirt in, adjust his collar and kiss him on the forehead. Dwayne even mimed me screaming at the door that we would be late!The third was,'Ganpa does his medical reimbursement.' The sequence shows dad's meticulous way of drafting his letters and getting them typed by Queenie.
It was a day spent remembering dad. I had availed of my last casual leave for 2019-20 which would be expiring by the end of this month.The time spent at home helped us to live in dad's memory and continue the traditions he emulated by his example.
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Alex George Mendonca a.k.a. 'dad' walked this earth from 1929-2017. May his soul rest in peace. Pix courtesy Wikipedia. Updated 21 July 2020.
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