It was an evening of poetry in the heart of Bombay. We were late actually, driving down to Khar via Dadar. This was a private reading in an apartment on the ground floor. I was delighted that busy Mumbaikars had time left over to listen to poetry after a long day. The start time was 7 p.m. I liked that. Twilight is when things happen.
We had run in from Pune the same day so it was a bit of a stretch. But what matter? Poetry is healing as we discovered. The ambience was perfect. From the warm smile at the door by the host, to the warm lighting. The dim glow presaged the revealed as well as the unrevealed -- a frontier which poetry only could traverse. Everything underscored an attitude of acceptance. I felt as welcome as I used to feel when I travelled across India writing my poems for my volume A Peace of India: Poems in Transit.
The interaction was organized by Poetry College, Mumbai under the stewardship of V. Anish and Ankita Shah. From those who gathered to listen to my journey as a poet, there seemed a reverence for poetry that seemed palpable. It was Rochelle Potkar who had put in a word for me and introduced me to Poetry College.
Scouring for some structure to set out my work I felt that dividing my work into decades would be a good place to start. There were five moments which I highlighted with the books I carried with me.
1965-75 The first ten years of life were shaping years travelling across the country with my parents.
1976-85 The next ten years were turbulent as I entered my twenties trying to discern my destiny.
1986-95 I write my first poem 'Requiem to a Sal' (1987)
1996-05 I write my second poem 'Last Bus to Vasco' (1997) after 10 years. Other poems cascade.
2006-15 Self-publish Last Bus to Vasco: Poems from Goa (New Delhi, 2006); Self-publish A Peace of India: Poems in Transit (New Delhi, 2011)
2016-19 Anthologized in Goa: A Garland of Poems by Rochelle Potkar (Goa, 2017); Theorize my work in 'Through the Eyes of a Traveller-poet: Goa- Yesterday and Today'(Goa, 2018); Maria's Boutique' published in Under the Mango Tree: Short Stories from Goa (Goa 2018)
I read out several poems which came to mind in the discussion. 'May Queen,' 'Fugitivo,' 'A Peace of India,' 'Sea in the Sky,' 'On the Run,' 'CNN-IBN,' and 'Lake Princess' were some of them. We spoke of how 'Velsao' evoked a mood faced by the 'crest of the storm.'
'Do you return to your poems?' I was asked. My poems have a surface structure and a deep structure. The surface structure describes nature or the context of the poem. The deep structure tries to fathom the soul, i.e. why am I writing this poem? What am I really trying to say? 'Hillsong' (2009) is an example of this. I end with:
In Rumi's night, my life is in surrender
In the way of life of the villagers
and the trundle of the city bus.
When I return to the poem I return to the deep structure, because that is who I am or was at that time.
There is a sheaf of poems on Delhi which I want to self-publish in Goa. Maybe it will be the precursor to a publishing house in Goa because there are so few of them. It's tentatively called Jasmine City.
The gleanings of the evening were that a poet should not stick to poetry alone, but should try to develop all forms of writing. You need not force yourself to write a new line. You can have a long gestation period when you write nothing. Fear not. You are bound for great things. Believe in yourself. A poem can be an assemblage of responses to your work, like a 'mirror' poem. Self-publishing gave me the confidence to stand by my voice. Affinity with other languages enlarges your poetic canvas.
Poetry lies in the appreciation of absence.
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Photos, courtesy (clockwise) Sandra Fernandes, Saloni Mehta and Priyanka Patel. All taken in Mumbai on 21 May 2019.
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