-Brian Mendonça
In the flurry of December, there were a few encounters with people which opened my mind to communication glitches.
Take the first instance. I bumped into a long lost friend of mine from my school days in Bombay. Delighted, I promptly invited him over for lunch the next day. He agreed, even stating that he does not drink and chicken would be okay. Yet, given the fact that he was tied up with his work there was a niggling doubt if he would show up at our place.
How to get out of this impasse? I decided to send a WhatsApp message saying, ‘If you are busy tomorrow and won’t be able to make it, do let us know.’ Prompt came the reply. ‘brian honestly gonna b busy will b diff to make it’ (sic). Both of us were relieved. But I was asking Queenie, why didn’t he simply say ‘No’ when I suggested lunch? It would have saved us a lot of bother. Queenie offered that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
A lunch invitation was extended to another friend down from Delhi for the feast of St. Francis Xavier. When the time came for lunch he did not show up. I was disappointed. But Queenie said she had anyway cooked the Sunday fare for the family. The next day we receive a call from my friend asking if he could come over for lunch. We said that would be fine, and since we were anyway in Panjim, we could pick him up. My friend relished the prawn curry and we dropped him back to Panjim on our way to Old Goa for the evening Mass in English on the Feast Day.
On another occasion I was planning to organize an event and floated the idea to my seniors for the necessary approvals. I sent an email, WhatsApp message, and an SMS. I even called. But the person was busy, and did not revert later. What do I do? It dawned on me that if I did not do something the window of opportunity would slip through my fingers. So I tried face-to-face communication. The moment I met my manager I bounced the idea of the event. I was met with the cool reply, ‘We should have known about this earlier.’
I had four days to play with and other events had already been lined up. I took a hard look at the calendar and isolated a day which was event-free. I froze this date on the calendar and worked around it. Soon things fell into place. My seniors too were applauding my initiative and basking in new-found glory.
I realize that when it comes to communication and the making of meaning, people are on different frequencies. When you kind of understand these frequencies you can predict behaviours and how people are likely to respond to an idea. But you need to have the skill to get around it and make your point. Be proactive. Don’t be a casualty of closed communication.
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Published in Gomantak Times Weekender, St. Inez, Goa on Sunday, 16 December 2018.
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