-Brian Mendonça
At a seminar on women poets in Thiruvarur, Tamil
Nadu a speaker said women in India face the Rani Lakshmibai predicament. When
they are born they are queens (rani) for
their parents, as brides they enter the house with much fanfare as Lakshmi (the
goddess of wealth), but the reality is they end up as bai’s (top servants) in their homes.
This tongue-in–cheek remark in the face of the
feminists was nevertheless borne out on Women’s Day this year. After I
breathlessly wished one woman a happy woman’s day, I asked her what she was
doing to commemorate the day. She said, ‘I did the jhadu (sweeping), now I have to do the pocha (swabbing).’
Today two issues appear before us. One is the
courage of a Gurmehar Kaur (20) student from Delhi University, the daughter of
a Kargil war hero. She boldly took a stand on social media saying, ‘Pakistan
did not kill my father, war did.’ Faced with threats of rape and murder she
nevertheless withdrew to her hometown in Jalandhar in the safety of Punjab. The
fact she pulled out of the campaign is a sad comment on the fabric of a nation
which prides itself on democratic values.
The other issue is why Karan Johar is in the news.
The media is ga-ga over his twins. The babies were born through a surrogate
mother. The children will probably never know who their biological mother is.
What KJ, who is gay, has done is to do away with the mother altogether. The
fact that he is averse to a relationship with a woman, does not stop him from
depriving his children from a nurturing bonding with a mother for all their
lives.
What really got my goat was the WhatsApp forward
below about Goan girls and ‘Goan English’:
First
Goan Girl: What men! Not talking? Become big or what?
Second
Goan Girl: Why you told her that I told you about Perpet going to movie with
Pilot?
First
Goan Girl: Told foo men? Ah that Concessao? But I told her not to tell
annnnnnnybody that you told me.
What one can see, beyond the titters, is that the
snatch of conversation projects a negative stereotype of Goan ‘girls’. A
sociolinguist would ask is this language specific to female Goan speakers? If
so why? Why do we persist in forwarding content which projects us in bad light?
As woman all have common concerns, so aptly put
across by Kalki Koechlin’s womanlogue. Women get stared at, so much so, as
their chest heaves, it becomes difficult to even breathe.
At a fancy dress organized on Woman’s Day girls
dressed up as an airhostess, a clothes designer, a Bharatanatyam dance teacher
who pursues her calling after marriage, and a business woman. One could also be
a maternity and post-delivery photographer like Ranisa Pires, a professional
boxer like Sonia Parab or a conservation diver like Gabriella D’Cruz. Great
careers, limitless choices. Your life is what you make of it.
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Published in Gomantak Times Weekender, St. Inez, Goa on Sunday, 12 March 2017. Pix source indiglamour.com
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