In the
reflections on Lent and the days that follow Easter, one of the central truths
of life – or death – emerges. This truth is that we cannot hold on to those
whom we love.
We are
shocked when we see young lives in Goa mowed down by the scythe of Death,
either through ‘self-accidents’ on the road, through another’s carelessness, or
in the call of duty. This was not meant to be, we say as we join the state in
collective mourning – that ritual we are so fastidious in observing.
But the
message of Easter is that death is the door to a different kind of life beyond
death. And for that one needs always to be prepared.
One of the
most telling scenes in post-Easter readings is the one where Mary Magdalene
comes to the tomb to find Jesus. She does not find his body. She finds Jesus
Himself who says ‘Do not hold on to me’ (Jn.
20:17). Jesus had saved Mary Magdalene earlier from being stoned because of
her ways. Here she is racked with grief to see Jesus’ suffering. Mary, shunned
by society, remembers to be grateful.
But Jesus
points her to a life Eternal, now that He is no longer human any more. Mary
seems attached to the dead body of Jesus, that earthly reality, that ‘frail
bark’(Shelley) which has fulfilled its role. How many cling to the dead body of
a loved one at funerals? When my mother passed on, I shrank from the cold
entity that lay before me, the skin waning to a paler hue. This was not her who
had loved me and whom I had loved. I preferred to remember the gift of her life
to us -- full of laughter, spreading joy. The funeral was a ritual.
‘Until
Sunday Teodisia was with us,’ the priest was telling us in Konkani, in his
sermon for a funeral Mass. ‘Today her life has gone. Where has it gone? Only
the corpse remains. ’ This moment seems irrevocable. But it is easier to cope
with if we have cared for the person when s/he was alive. Copious tears to
publicize grief are suspect.
Those whom
we love never leave us. In fact when their earthly life is over, they inhabit a
spiritual realm and intercede for us to make possible things they could not bring
about in their earthly life. Blessings follow, and life becomes more meaningful
through absence.
The
relationship does not break. They have been returned to the Lord and we must relate
to them now on a different plane, at a deeper level. Jesus tells Mary not to
hold on to Him because He knows He is going back to His Father. And Mary
instinctively acknowledges this lesson by calling him ‘Rabboni’ in Hebrew– which means ‘teacher.’ We too have to go. And we
have to learn to let go. The ache will subside in faith.
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Pix courtesy Greg Olsen. Published in Gomantak Times, Weekender, St. Inez, Goa, 14 April 2013
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